Unable to walk down stairs for dinner, falling ill and sleeping for 18 hours and getting dropped 2km into today's stage on the flat; Sam Bennett's description of the Tour de France is not sugar coated.
By Brian Canty
Sam Bennett said he will be heartbroken on Sunday watching the riders race up and down the Champs Elysees on the final stage of the Tour de France after he abandoned on today's 17th stage.
It is a final stage he has dreamt of since he was a child but sadly, after being forced to withdraw, his ride into Paris will have to wait.
The 24 year-old Carrick on Suir man was making his debut in the race and spoke to stickybottle from his team hotel in the Alps, explaining why he abandoned and what drove him on for so long when he was not at his best.
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“Yesterday I felt really sick and I was upset and knew what I was in for today,” he said of the second rest day.
“I got up this morning a little better and it gave me hope.
“But 2k into the stage I got dropped, I got back in on a descent.
“But I was getting dropped on the flat and was already off the back. I was on my hands and knees at that point,” he added disconsolately.
“I was only 35 minutes into the race and I heard it was 6k to the first climb. They were racing up it and I had nothing left. I had to stop.
“The team car pulled up, I pulled over and that was it. I had nothing left.”
Tonight he is packing his bags and he will leave the team hotel tomorrow morning.
“I don’t know is it the high of the race or what but I don’t even feel tired now,” he said with a laugh.
“But when I get on the bike and I try to push the pedals, the 100 per cent you give when you’re fresh is 200 watts lower than the 100 per cent you give now.”
Asked what kept him going for 17 stages of the Tour after illness-hit preparations, he said it was purely the desire to make himself better.
“I had shit preparation and zero condition. I was getting it hard on the first day and on day five I thought I was gone. But I kept fighting each day, I kept going.
“I knew it was something I had to go through for my development so I wanted to push through it and I think it was important to get as far into the race as possible.
“I wanted to harden myself and the thought of being a better rider is what kept me going.”
A lot easier said than done when you are too tired to even go down the stairs for dinner at night, however,
“Four or five days ago I started urinating blood because I was throwing the bike around so much trying to hang on and I damaged something.
“That was one problem and then yesterday I got a really bad virus and was in bed with all my clothes on under the quilt in 30 degree heat and I just slept 18 hours.
“I couldn’t event walk down to the dinner table I was so fucked yesterday. And then I had to go on an antibiotic last night. That was for the urinating problem.
“I knew yesterday I was in trouble, all my joints and muscles were so sore.
“I thought I wouldn’t even get to start today but when I got up I was so much better than yesterday.
“I said we’d go again, I got everything ready, tried to stay positive. But I was fighting from kilometre zero. I wanted to keep going but the body wouldn’t let me.”
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Bennett has had some rough days in his career; days when he almost packed in the sport for good.
But his mental strength kept him going. And that was the case again these last 2½ weeks.
“I kept going as long as I did because I’ve been mentally ready for the hardship,” he explained.
“I just kept going and I had no problem because I was expecting it.
“I just went through it and it became routine, so it wasn’t hard in that sense. You just go, go, go and blank out everything and you survive.
“Mentally the hardest thing was admitting I had to stop. I didn’t have a choice.
“There have been other races where I haven’t been mentally ready and they’d have been harder.
“Saying that, it will break my heart not being in Paris on Sunday but I couldn’t do any more.
“I did everything in my control. I got sick at a bad time (before the race) and I got sick yesterday.
“I know I shouldn’t blame other things but there was literally nothing more I could do.
“Going into the race the way things happened I could never expect wins and glamour and all that.
“I always knew it would be hard but I treated it as a development phase in my career.
“It’s something I had to go through for the future and that was the main goal.
“Obviously you want the glamour and you want to be in there for the sprints on TV and coming down the Champs Elysees but that isn’t this year.
“This year was about getting to another level, trying to develop.”
Having to quit is something he has rarely done in his career and that will take some digesting.
“I think it knocked the ego out of me. It was great to get so much support from so many people but people who don’t understand cycling don’t look at what happens in other races.
“They see the result where l’m last and that was hard. My ego took a knock but it gives me something to fight for.
“I know a lot of people try to get the lanterne rouge and aim for it. But when you’re in a position where you can’t be anywhere but lanterne rouge; then it’s hard on the ego.
“I wouldn’t mind if I was fifth last overall, but it wasn’t my choice to be last. I was forced to be there and my ego took a knock.
“It’s been hard for us; you saw how upset Zak (Dempster) was when he abandoned and how much he wanted to perform.
“It’s hard on riders when basically you’re aiming for the biggest race of the year, you get on the team and then things go wrong.
“It’s a cruel sport. It’s hard when you put everything into one race and it goes belly-up. It makes you think you should have more than one target.”
But having gone through the ringer on the Tour, when asked if he will kick back to relax and recover for a while, he says his mind is firmly fixed on one thing: “Freshening up and having a big influence on more races.”
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