A woman has written to the Irish Independent’s ‘resident therapist’ to ask for advice after her husband took up cycling in lock-down which, when combined with his trips to the gym, is leaving her with all the chores to do.
While this is not
stickybottle’s normal fare, the item raises points that may have emerged in
many cyclists’ homes, whether the serious cyclist in the house is male or female.
In this case, it’s a wife seeking advice about her husband and she said he is going out cycling on Saturday and Sunday every weekend. Furthermore, the woman says her husband has also joined a gym and goes three times per week to meet with a personal trainer.
“That is great for him, but it leaves me carrying the can
with all the housework and our three kids,” the woman says, adding her eldest
child is six and her youngest is aged two.
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She was “frustrated and annoyed” but when she raised the
issue with her husband, his eyes “glaze over”. In her letter to the newspaper she
asks for advice on the matter.
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In reply, the Irish Independent’s resident therapist Allison Keating offers a detailed reply, saying if the woman’s husband is training for a particular goal it may be easier to manage as “couples can accommodate carrying the load for a short period of time”. But if not, the issue may be more serious.
She adds: “Bringing exercise into your life is such a
healthy way to mind your physical, mental and emotional health, but not at the
sacrifice to your most important relationships.”
She also suggests that training for “three evenings a
week and during the weekend is a large portion of time out of a busy working
family” and wonders if workload sharing at home has been problematic before in
other ways.
Ms Keating suggests clear communication is the answer,
adding: “You can’t control how your husband behaves, but you can let him
clearly know what you can and can’t accept.”
The full reply is lengthy and more detailed and can be found by following this link. As we say, while this is not stickybottle’s usual stomping ground, the letter and reply may resonate with some of our readers as not all family members are as interested in our cycling as we are.
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